


A Thousand Reasons

by parttimehuman



Series: Rarepair Galore [10]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Failed attempts at masturbation, Halehound, M/M, Roommates, Smut, because of bad porn, but then it gets better, way better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-09-01 18:08:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16770232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parttimehuman/pseuds/parttimehuman
Summary: Derek and Parrish have a deep conversation about their worst experiences with the first five minutes of porn videos. Obviously, it leads to sex.





	A Thousand Reasons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AJP_37](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJP_37/gifts).



“What the holy hell…,” Derek whispers to himself, watching his own face screwing up in the screen of his laptop. 

This is not at all what he imagined finally having the shared apartment to himself to be like. 

Parrish should be working for a bit longer, arresting bad guys or writing parking tickets or whatever the fuck he does all day long, the dishes are done, the carpet in the living room vacuumed, and Derek can sit down on the spacious couch where his roommate’s scent lingers in the pillows and cushions, can stretch out his long limbs and put the laptop on the coffee table, can watch some nice porn with the sound on, doesn’t have to deal with highly disturbing headphones while having the first good wank in what feels like ages. 

No hiding a boner or drying cum on his way between the bathroom and his bedroom. No forcing himself to be quiet. No being on alert the whole time. No shame. Just getting off. God knows he needs it. Badly, to be honest. 

Of course, because nothing in his life ever goes as planned, it doesn’t really work. Derek has found a halfway comfortable position on the couch, has turned up the heating enough for it to be nice and warm while he’s sitting there in only his boxers, has a good enough view on his laptop screen, both lube and a towel at hand, his special relaxation playlist consisting of mostly disney songs playing calmly in the background. He’s not weird, okay, he just happens to like it that way. 

It should be enough. He’s taken care of everything. Hell, he feels like he’s making more of an effort for himself than he would for an actual, living guy. The only thing missing is a candlelit dinner date. As life once again insists on proving to him, though, effort isn’t all it takes, and it surely doesn’t guarantee even the slightest bit of success. 

Derek lets out a frustrated groan and continues to scroll down the open page of porn videos. Call him a tight ass, but he still isn’t willing to pay actual money for something that can be found on the internet en masse and above all, for free, so he’ll have to take what he gets. What he gets is hardly satisfying though. God knows Derek isn’t sensitive, but if he sees one more armpit being licked or face being peed on, he might actually throw up. 

He averts his eyes from the disappointment for a few seconds, pinching the bridge of his nose before carefully lifting up the waistband of his underwear, peeking underneath at what has to be the softest his dick has ever been. The smell of his own frustration is thick in the air and doesn’t help turn him on at all. 

“Looks like this isn’t our day either, huh?” Derek murmurs. Jesus fuck, now he’s even talking to his dick. If Parrish knew how low he’s sunk, the mockery would never end. 

At the thought of the deputy he shares an apartment with, Derek realizes that it might take him forever to get another chance like this one. Now that he has a job too, he’s rarely ever home alone, and when he is, he’s usually too tired or too stressed or too busy keeping everything as clean and tidy as Parrish wishes it to really get going. And he just isn’t one for a quick jerk-off in the shower. He needs time and the right atmosphere. He likes for his imagination to be stimulated a little, likes to be hard before he begins touching himself. He likes to go slow and play out his fantasies in his mind while stroking his cock. He likes to try things out, likes to fuck the pillows in his bed and pretend they’re not just cotton and feathers, has acquired quite a collection of toys over the years. 

If it wasn’t for privacy issues, Derek would have a healthy sex life with himself. Except now that he does have his privacy, the mood isn’t right. He feels like crying. Or kicking something. Or both. Like throwing a proper tantrum and not minding a few of Parrish’s dumb vases becoming collateral damage. Actually, that might have a better chance at turning him on than all the porn he’s tried so far. 

Accompanied by a heavy nose exhale, Derek’s foot pushes the coffee table with his laptop far away from the edge of the couch and he sinks back, one arm covering his eyes so that he won’t have to look at the misery anymore. How can one single person be so unlucky? He might need a nap. Or a large pizza. Or for a car to run him over. Whatever, really. 

*

“Dude, what on earth kinda party is this?” Parrish demands, hovering above Derek with his fists stemmed against his hips and a half sceptical, half amused look on his face. 

Derek scrambles up into a sitting position, rubbing his face real quick and letting his eyes wander across the room to assess the situation. Everything seems normal. They’re in their living room, Parrish standing there in his uniform, probably just returning from work. No signs of a party at all. Derek doesn’t know what he’s on about. 

Until he spots his laptop sitting on the coffee table, its screen bright as ever, showing exactly what he was doing before he must have fallen asleep. Derek can feel his cheeks heating up and he hates it, because he’s got a reputation, and a blushing face does absolutely not fit that reputation that he’s been working on for half of his life. 

“I can’t believe you were choking the chicken on my couch, man!” Jordan accuses him. “Not cool!” 

“Choking the chicken, Parrish? Really?” Derek asks in disbelief. They’re not fourteen anymore, after all.

“Spanking the monkey, buffing the banana, jacking off, whatever you want to call it. But that’s beside the point. The point is that you did it on my precious sofa that I’ve been dreaming of all day long.” 

Derek rolls his eyes dramatically. “Don’t worry,” he says, although Parrish didn’t really look worried to begin with. “I didn’t actually do anything.” 

“Well, you say that  _ now _ .” 

“Do you see any cum on me?” 

Parrish actually has the audacity to look Derek up and down, his eyes lingering on the dark hair splattered over his chest and stomach for a few seconds as if there’s a chance to find something there if only he looks hard enough. 

“You’re a pervert, Parrish,” Derek grumbles. 

“Me?” He pokes his own chest with one finger. “Who’s the one using our living room for their self love shenanigans while I’m at work, huh? May I remind you that this is where I eat my breakfast?” 

Derek shakes his head. Why is he even trying? “You can calm down. Nothing happened.” 

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” 

“Yes.” 

“You wanted to, though,” Parrish says quietly after a few seconds of silence, his eyebrow raised in question. “You’re half naked. You were looking for porn. You even got lube and a towel.” 

“Well, it didn’t work, okay? And you’re not on duty anymore, so there’s no need for further investigating, alright?” 

While Derek wishes for the ground to open and swallow him, Parrish continues to ignore his very obvious discomfort completely. 

“Why?” He asks. 

Derek lets out a huffed laugh at first, ready to turn away and hide out in his bedroom for the rest of his day, not willing to be made fun of for this. And especially not by Parrish with his stupid wiggly eyebrows and the dumb grimaces and that girly voice he makes sometimes. 

Parrish isn’t laughing though. Not this time. 

“Why what?” Derek asks back. 

“You said it didn’t work. Why?” 

“Because free porn is garbage,” Derek pouts, leaning back on the sofa, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“Ahh,” Parrish says, sitting down next to Derek, for some reason reaching out for the laptop, seemingly satisfied with getting that information out of him. “So what seems to be the problem? You need any recommendations?” 

Derek honestly doesn’t know how to respond. Does he? And is Parrish even being serious? 

“No!” He says, possibly a little too harshly to sound convincing. 

Parrish clicks once to land on the video that Derek visited last. Derek tries his best not to look, but the sounds are the most embarrassing thing in his entire life. 

“Uh-huh, I see,” Parrish comments after a few moments. “So the classic plumber laying his pipe doesn’t do it for you. Well, can’t exactly blame you. The dude looks a bit… unmotivated.”

“I know, right?” Derek agrees. “I mean, can that scene scream porn at you any louder?” 

“Probably,” Parrish laughs, “if he was a pizza boy delivering to a guy whose towels drops from around his hips just when he opens the door.” 

Against his will and without his brain’s allowance, Derek has to smile. He thinks he’s seen that one. “Yeah, or if he was a naughty student who needs to be bent over his teacher’s desk and be spanked.” 

“Or a horny pool boy who does zero cleaning while shamelessly checking out the rich guy he’s working for sunbathing.” 

Derek doesn’t try to hold back his laugh this time. “How about the sexy hitchhiker trope? As if you’d ever pick up a random dude from the street and give him a ride in exchange for a blowjob.” 

“You wouldn’t?” Parrish asks, and there goes that absolutely ridiculous eyebrow wiggle that Derek was half expecting earlier. It makes the deputy look like a five-year-old with brain damage, to be completely honest, but it also makes Derek feel less vulnerable and naked sitting next to him while discussing his previous activities that Parrish was never supposed to know about. 

“No, but I wouldn’t seek out the closest glory hole either just because I’m horny,” Derek shrugs. 

“Really?” Parrish asks. “What has become of  _ support your local STD supplier,  _ Derek?” 

“Is that what you do, huh?” Derek asks with a cocky grin. “Or is what you do the same that I find when I type ‘uniform’ in the search bar.” 

“You better not, to be honest.” 

“Agreed. What’s the worst you’ve seen so far? Porn wise.” 

Parrish seems to actually consider this question for a moment. “I think that must have been this one video of two dudes at the gym. One of them walks in naked while the other one is lifting weights, trying to distract him, right? So he’s wearing a butt plug, and he tries to show it off, but the other one isn’t paying attention. Well, not until he gracefully drapes himself over a bench and lifts his legs and just… let’s the thing plop out. So the plug just falls to the ground and the next second, the other dude’s weights follow. Of course, he’s making a completely shocked face and all, putting his hands to his head in this weird way, eyes wide open, like he’s seeing a unicorn or something. Utterly laughable.” 

“Oh God, I’m kind of glad I never saw that.” 

“I don’t know,” Parrish shrugs, “I mean, it wasn’t so bad after that. They were hot.” 

“Yeah, but, why do they even bother thinking of these awful first five minutes?” Derek argues. “I mean, they’re not exactly a selling point.” 

“I don’t know, maybe because there has to be something… You know, before just jumping right in?” 

“Yeah, but can’t that something be just some making out? Like normal people do? And not a supposedly straight best friend scrunching up his nose at the sight of a dick before giving it one lick and deciding in like, a half split second that it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted? I mean, how ridiculous!” 

“I think my favorite thing is still the boys’ night out playing pool when one terribly bad joke about holes is made before it cuts right to a rimming scene.” 

“Also a good one,” Derek nods. “Personally, I nope out of everything that’s set in a locker room.” 

“Too many memories of Coach Finstock blowing his whistle?” Parrish laughs. 

Derek gasps in shock. “How dare you bring him into this!” When all Parrish does is laugh harder instead of showing some remorse, Derek feels compelled to actually slap his arm, but it doesn’t stop the uncontrollable giggles. He has to fight his own laughter as much as he’s fighting his roommate, landing a few punishing slaps on his upper arms in spite of Parrish trying to swat his hands away. Derek is pretty sure that as long as Parrish isn’t burning in supernatural flames, he’s stronger than the deputy, so he’s holding back, but the other man isn’t. He grabs Derek by the wrists and pushes him back, landing half on top of him while pinning the werewolf’s arms to the sofa beneath them, and then there’s just a second of something warm and soft that might be a thigh brushing against Derek’s just lightly covered crotch, and suddenly all thoughts of bad porn are gone. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Derek growls as the other man settles down with both knees on either side of him, straddling him, making full contact. What exactly was the problem with getting hard earlier again? Derek’s body doesn’t seem to remember. 

“I don’t know. We could start off with some making out, like normal people do,” Parrish says with a wink and a huge grin, squeezing Derek’s wrists. 

Derek is a bit shocked by his blunt suggestion and the shameless look on his face. They’ve known each other for a decade, have been living together for quite a while now, have gotten to the point where Derek accepted their constant flirting as nothing more than a thing between friends who won’t let the toxic stereotypes about masculinity and male friendships oppress them, but never has anything happened between them. Never. 

But never is over, because now Derek’s cock is hard and pressing against Parrish’s firm ass that’s grinding down and eliciting a moan from his throat. 

“I swear, Parrish, don’t tease me like this if you’re not willing to follow through,” Derek presses out. Once he allows himself to let go and let the urges flaming up inside him take over, there’s hardly any way to contain himself. 

“Oh, I am,” Parrish replies instantly, his expression perfectly serious. He leans down until his breath is ghosting over Derek’s lips. “Promise,” he whispers, lingering. 

Derek lifts his head to meet him for a kiss, but Parrish pulls away just slightly, keeping up the same distance between them, holding Derek down. The wolf inside him wants to retaliate, wants to flip them over and devour its prey just like it pleases, but the human likes the games and cranes his neck further, whimpering and struggling until he can finally feel soft, warm lips on his own, kissing him breathless. 

“Are you sure you know what you’re promising?” Derek asks, panting a bit. 

“I think I’m getting an idea,” Parrish replies, rubbing himself all over the boner that has no chance of staying hidden inside Derek’s boxers anymore. 

“Oh, are you?” 

“Yes. And I think I like that idea.” 

“Makes me wonder what else you like,” Derek mutters, his hands roving up the other man’s thighs until he’s opening the heavy leather belt around his waist. There’s quite the bulge straining Parrish’s pants as well, making his mouth water a bit at the thought of what he might find beneath them. 

“Well, I’m not unhappy right now,” Parrish says with a smirk. “The only real complaint I have is the amount of clothes on both of us.” 

“Less talking, more undressing, Deputy.” 

Derek earns a heated look and a bemused smile, but Parrish actually lets go of his wrists and climbs off of him, standing next to the sofa for a moment. Against Derek’s expectations, though, he doesn’t start by taking his uniform off. Instead, Derek’s slightly damp boxers have to go first, soft fingers stroking his skin as they pull them down and then throw them away carelessly. Parrish looks quite satisfied with himself, his eyes focused on Derek’s hard cock and the drop of precum sticking to his stomach now. 

Excitement and lust hum beneath his skin, making him spread his legs and arch his back a little. Derek is a little shocked himself at how easily he’s offering himself to another man, but there’s fuck all he can do about it. Both wolf and human are agreed that they have an urgent craving, and his body can do nothing but obey.

Theoretically, Derek is very well aware of how ripped his roommate is. It’s not like he’s never seen him naked, or at least in underwear, but now that he’s lying on his back waiting, the suspense is still kind of killing him. 

When Parrish’s look changes from hungrily amused to mischievous, Derek knows something’s up immediately. 

“You wanna see a cool party trick?” Parrish asks with a cocky grin. 

“What, now?” 

“Yes, now. It kind of has to be now.” 

“Weren’t we just… you know… in the middle of something?” 

Parrish rolls his eyes. “You’re no fun, Derek. Check this out.” 

At first it’s just his eyes glowing up like embers, and then Derek can feel the air heating up around him, the scent of supernatural power hitting his nose. A moment later, the scent has turned into fire and smoke, flames licking at Parrish’s body. It’s hardly the moment to play hellhound, Derek thinks to himself, but then the heat dials down and the flames fade, a faint smell remaining in the air, but Parrish looks just like he did before. 

Well, except for the huge grin plastered on his self-righteous face and the fact that the burnt remains of his uniform are lying at his feet. 

“Tadaaaa,” he exclaims, turning around to present all of his naked glory to Derek. 

Derek sighs and lets his head drop back onto the couch. “You’re an idiot,” he mutters, “and very lucky that you’re this hot.” 

“Was it hotter than all the porn you’ve seen today?” 

“I wish I could answer that question with a no,” Derek admits, “but I’d be lying.” He can’t help the fact that his eyes are drawn to the other man’s broad shoulders and his defined abs, or how they follow the fuzzy little happy trail down to a proud erection, a thick and uncut cock that makes him sit up and reach out for it while licking his lips. 

“Like what you see, huh?” 

“Very much,” Derek nods eagerly, “and I’ll suck it if you promise me that from this point on, no part of you will be burning tonight. Not physically, I mean.” 

“Fine,” Parrish huffs like it’s a huge sacrifice he’s making, stepping closer and taking Derek’s face in both hands, leaning down to kiss him before he pulls back and stands upright again, his thumbs still stroking his cheekbones as Derek closes his lips around his cock and swallows the first bit of bitterness down. 

He can feel Parrish’s thighs quivering beneath the palms of his hands as he bobs his head, relaxing his throat to be able to swallow as much of his length as possible, still having tears well up in his eyes as his nose is pressed against that wonderfully soft fuzz on Parrish’s belly, heavy breathing only interrupted by deep moans. 

“Fuck, that feels so good,” Parrish praises, one hand tangled into Derek’s hair, tugging and pulling slightly, guiding him until he thinks it better slow it down for a moment if he wants the pleasure to last for a while. 

“Well, you sure know what you’re doing with your mouth around a cock, huh?” Parrish comments, catching his breath. 

“You should see the things I can do with my dick, Parrish,” Derek laughs, pulling him in for a dirty, open mouthed kiss. 

“By all means, Hale,” comes the instant reply. “Enlighten me.” He grabs the bottle of lube from the coffee table just as Derek lifts him off of his feet and into his lap, their chests pressed together as they kiss and Derek’s hands roam his back, enjoying the smoothness of his skin and the hardness of the muscles underneath.

Apparently, Parrish doesn’t have the patience for Derek to cover all of his neck in bruises by sucking on the delicate skin, so he simply moves ahead, uncapping the lube and squirting some on his fingers, leaning against Derek with the full weight of his upper body as he reaches behind himself. Derek can only see his eyes fluttering shut and his lips parting with a soft moan falling from them, the scent of arousal getting even thicker around them, a hint of spice being added to the saltiness. 

“Let me help you with that,” Derek mumbles against Parrish’s neck, his hands drifting down to spread the wonderfully round cheeks of his ass apart while Parrish slicks up his entrance and rubs over it while also rocking his hips a bit, creating a maddening friction between their dicks. 

Watching and listening as Parrish is clearly losing control over himself in his lap, Derek takes the lube from him and spreads it over his own fingertips. 

“Please,” Parrish begs, sticking his ass out and burying his face against Derek’s neck, nibbling at the skin there, the moans never stopping to pour from his lips. 

Derek is silently smug about having defeated the clown inside Parrish and turned him into a writhing mess in his lap instead, teasing the man by running a slick finger through the crack between his cheeks with close to zero pressure. 

The next “Please” sounds like whining, but Derek still takes another minute until he relents and concentrates his teasing on the tight ring of muscle that he’s dying to feel clenching around his cock while Parrish comes. He rubs all over it thoroughly before pressing against it carefully, pulling back each time his finger slips inside, repeating the same action until it goes easily enough and he decides to push further inside. 

“Fuck!” Parrish groans the first time Derek’s finger is fully buried inside him, and another curse follows when he starts moving his hips in slow circles, practically riding it. 

“So impatient,” Derek comments. 

“So good,” Parrish replies, “not my fault it feels so fucking good.” 

Teeth are buried in Derek’s neck as he adds another finger, and if that’s Parrish’s way to tease the wolf in him, to tempt it to show its temper and force him to submit, then Derek can’t deny it’s actually kind of working. He grips Parrish’s hip tightly as he continues to finger him open, holding him still, his wolf content with the way the other man is holding onto him. 

“Condom?” Derek asks breathlessly. Between his fingers inside Parrish and Parrish’s fingers wrapped around his cock, there’s not much more time he has to waste. 

“Supernatural healing, Derek,” Parrish replies, “I’m safe.” 

“Yeah but… I mean, would you want that?” 

“You mean feeling you inside me? The chance for you to come in me and fill me up? Hell yeah I want that.” 

“Well, if you put it like that it sounds pretty convincing, yeah,” Derek laughs, “I just like to have your explicit consent, you know.” 

“Derek Hale, please put your beautiful cock inside my ass at your earliest convenience and fuck my brains out. Is that explicit enough for you?” 

“Sounds like something I’d be down for,” Derek smiles while Parrish takes the lube back and slicks up Derek’s cock for him. 

“Awesome, what are you waiting for, then?” 

“I think I liked you better when you were begging and moaning instead of talking with that big mouth of yours,” Derek says. “Gonna have to shut you up again.” 

Parrish wants to reply something, but all that comes out of his open mouth is a loud moan in the exact moment when Derek pushes up and inside him, feeling him stretching around the head of his dick. 

“You good?” Derek wants to know.

“Fucking amazing.” 

He goes slow and steady, giving Parrish - no, Jordan - time to adjust, resisting the urge to lift his ass off the couch and only moving his hips in slight circles until he can tell Jordan is actually pressing down against him, leaning back while holding onto Derek’s shoulders to get a better angle. 

“You feel incredible,” Derek tells him. The ecstatic shimmer in Jordan’s half-lidded eyes turns him on beyond belief. 

The words of praise seem to have the wonderful effect of spurring Jordan on to take control and set a quicker pace, bouncing up and down in Derek’s lap and riding his cock. It feels fucking fantastic, so fantastic that Derek doesn’t believe he will manage to last much longer, so he takes Jordan’s dick in his hand and starts pumping it in the same rhythm as the other man is moving up and down, watching a few muscles twitch and listening to the moans turning into incomprehensive curses and strangled cries. 

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna…” 

“Yep, me too.” 

“Fuck. Fuuuuuck.” 

Derek is already pushed over the edge and waiting for the inevitable fall when Jordan clenches around him and starts shaking all over, spilling his load over his fingers while biting down on his shoulder, which only makes Derek’s own orgasm all the more intense. 

He feels his wolf nearing the surface and fights it back down, focusing on the warm flesh beneath his fingers and the pulsating heat around him, the sounds of Jordan’s climax. He has his arms wrapped around Jordan tightly as he comes for several long moments, his sweaty forehead against a heaving chest, two wild heartbeats drumming along to another. 

“What a shame that nobody’s filmed us,” Jordan laughs after he’s caught his breath a little. 

Derek forces his eyes open to look up to him. “Oh yeah, you think your little party trick is any less ridiculous than the stuff we talked about earlier?” 

“Uhm, excuse me?” Jordan says, pretending to be offended. “That was clearly the only reason you had sex with me at all.” 

“I was kind of naked and ready before that, though, remember?” Derek points out. “And besides, I’d find a thousand good reasons to have sex with you.” 

“A thousand, huh?” 

Derek smiles and kisses him. 

“Maybe more.” 

“Like the fact that I’m hot as fire? And my sense of humor is the absolute greatest your grumpy self has ever witnessed?” 

“Neither of those,” Derek shakes his head. “And just out of curiosity, won’t you have to pay for a new uniform now?” 

Jordan turns to look at the sooty remains of his deputy’s uniform. “A price I’m well willing to pay, I guess.” 

“For getting to undress yourself by just burning your clothes once in your life?” Derek asks. “You’re crazy.” 

“Once in my life? How do you know I haven’t done it before?” 

“God, if you have, then please don’t tell me.” 

“Fine, let’s get back to these thousand reasons instead, shall we? I wonder what they could all be…” 

Derek rolls his eyes and sighs, but he doesn’t have the right to complain. He’s known Jordan Parrish long enough by now. He knew before what he was getting himself into. Now he has to live with the bad jokes and the stupid grimaces and the fact that all of it always makes him laugh even though he never wants to. 


End file.
